Girls & Sex (Orenstein)

Girls & Sex:  Navigating the Complicated New Landscape
Peggy Orenstein, 2016
HarperCollins
320 pp.
ISBN-13: 9780062209726


Summary
A clear-eyed picture of the new sexual landscape girls face in the post-princess stage—high school through college—and reveals how they are negotiating it.

A generation gap has emerged between parents and their girls. Even in this age of helicopter parenting, the mothers and fathers of tomorrow’s women have little idea what their daughters are up to sexually or how they feel about it.

Drawing on in-depth interviews with over seventy young women and a wide range of psychologists, academics, and experts, renowned journalist Peggy Orenstein goes where most others fear to tread, pulling back the curtain on the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important possibilities of girls’ sex lives in the modern world.

While the media has focused—often to sensational effect—on the rise of casual sex and the prevalence of rape on campus, in Girls and Sex Peggy Orenstein brings much more to the table.

She examines the ways in which porn and all its sexual myths have seeped into young people’s lives; what it means to be the "the perfect slut," and why many girls scorn virginity; the complicated terrain of hookup culture and the unfortunate realities surrounding assault.

In Orenstein’s hands these issues are never reduced to simplistic "truths;" rather, her powerful reporting opens up a dialogue on a potent, often silent, subtext of American life today—giving readers comprehensive and in-depth information with which to understand, and navigate, this complicated new world. (From the publisher.)

Author Bio
• Birth—November 1961
• Where—Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA
• Education—B.A., Oberlin College
• Awards—(see Recognition below)
• Currently—lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, California


Peggy Orenstein is an American essayist and author of nonfiction books. A native of Minneapolis, Minnesota, she attended Oberlin College where she earned a B.A.

After college, she moved to New York City, where she worked as an associate editor at "Esquire," later acquiring senior editing positions at Manhattan, Inc. and 7 Days. In 1988, after moving to San Francisco, California, she became managing editor of Mother Jones and, in 1991, a writer and producer at Farallon Films. She is married to filmmaker Steven Okazaki. They have a daughter and live in San Francisco's Bay Area.
 
Books
♦ 2020 - Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity
♦ 2016 - Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape
♦ 2011 - Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl
Culture
♦ 2007 - Waiting for Daisy: A Tale of Two Continents, Three Religions, Five Infertility Doctors, an Oscar, an Atomic Bomb, a Romantic Night and One Woman's Quest to Become a Mother
♦ 2000 - Flux: Women on Sex, Work, Love, Kids and Life in a Half-Changed World
♦ 1994 - Schoolgirls: Young Women, Self Esteem, and the Confidence Gap

Other
A contributing writer for the New York Times Magazine, Orenstein has also written for the Los Angeles Times, Vogue, Elle, More, Mother Jones, Slate, O: The Oprah Magazine, New York Magazine and The New Yorker.

She has contributed commentaries to NPR’s All Things Considered. Her articles have been anthologized multiple times, including in The Best American Science Writing.

She has been a keynote speaker at numerous colleges and conferences and has been featured on, among other programs, Nightline, Good Morning America, Today Show, NPR’s Fresh Air and Morning Edition and CBC’s As It Happens.

Recognition
In 2012, Columbia Journalism Review named Orentstein one of its "40 women who changed the media business in the past 40 years."

She has been recognized for her "Outstanding Coverage of Family Diversity," by the Council on Contemporary Families and received a Books For A Better Life Award for Waiting for Daisy. Her work has also been honored by the Commonwealth Club of California, the National Women’s Political Caucus of California and Planned Parenthood Federation of America. Additionally, she has been awarded fellowships from the United States-Japan Foundation and the Asian Cultural Council. (From Wikipedia. Retrieved 4/3/2016 .)

Book Reviews
[T]hought-provoking….The interesting question at the heart of Girls & Sex is not really whether things are better or worse for girls. It's why—at a time when women graduate from college at higher rates than men and are closing the wage gap—aren't young women more satisfied with their most intimate relationships? "When so much has changed for girls in the public realm," Orenstein writes, "why hasn't more…changed in the private one?"
Cindi Leive - New York Times Book Review


(Starred review.) [A]n eye-opening, sometimes horrifying look at sex for today’s girls and young adults.... In this smart, earnest, and timely assessment, Orenstein urges frank, open communication...declaring it the best way to encourage girls and boys to make safe, healthy decisions.
Publishers Weekly


[A]ccessible prose and narrative style will bring the work of many thoughtful experts to a wider audience.... While this book largely documents our systemic failure to support young women's sexual thriving, the final chapters point toward potential solutions, including an important reminder that men and boys must be included in any successful intervention. —Anna J. Clutterbuck-Cook, Massachusetts Historical Soc. Lib., Boston
Library Journal


Sex and teenagers have always gone together, but parents reading Orenstein’s frank exploration of current trends may still be in for a shock…. This isn’t a comfortable book to read (Orenstein herself admits twinges a few times), but it’s an important one.
Booklist


[A]n eye-opening study of the way that girls and women in America think, feel, and act regarding sex.... What she discovered was both intriguing and highly disturbing.... Ample, valuable information on the way young women in America perceive and react to their sexual environment.
Kirkus Reviews

Discussion Questions
Use our LitLovers Book Club Resources; they can help with discussions for any book:

• How to Discuss a Book (helpful discussion tips)
• Generic Discussion Questions—Fiction and Nonfiction
• Read-Think-Talk (a guided reading chart)

Also, consider using these LitLovers talking points to help start a discussion for Girls & Sex...and take off on your own:

1. Orenstein finds the contraries in the beliefs held by today's young women: the dismissal of male patriarchy coupled with the desire for male sexual approval. How do you, or any woman, align those divergent views?

2. The teenaged girl get ready for a date in her college dorm tells Orenstein that her desire for the night "is to be just slutty enough, where you're not a prude but you're not a whore." What do you think of her attitude toward sex? It's modern, but is it freeing...is it healthy...is it empowering? Is it moral? What is the difference between "slutty" and a "whore"? What is the perfect slut?

3. Follow-up Question to 2: How did the young woman, a college economics major with, presumably, a fair amount of intelligence, come to acquire her attitudes toward sex and "getting attention from guys"?

4. Talk about the "hookup culture." Why does Orenstein find it so disturbing--aside from the fact that she doesn't want to appear judgmental? And that begs the question about the rightness or wrongness of "judging" our children's behavior. What do you think?

5. Why aren't women more satisfied with their intimate relationships, especially given the fact that they're graduating at a higher rate than men and closing the wage gap? In other words, they're finding success in the public sphere...why not in the private one?

6. What affect does pornography have on male expectations?

7. Is taking your clothes off a sign of empowerment or self-determination? One young woman tells Orenstein, "I love Beyonce. She’s, like, a queen. But I wonder, if she wasn’t so beautiful, if people didn’t think she was so sexy, would she be able to make the feminist points she makes?" What's your opinion?

8. How does Orenstein feel about abstinence-only sex-ed programs? Should sex education be left to parents?

9. Talk about the role of alcohol in the youth culture.

10. What would be the ideal sexual code appropriate for today's young women...and men? How could we go about, as a society, promulgating it?

(We'll add specific questions if and when they're made available by the publisher. In the meantime feel free to use these, online of off, with attribution. Thanks.)

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