Diary of an Oxygen Thief (Anonymous)

Discussion Questions
These questions were developed by Jennifer Johnson, Reference Librarian for the Springdale (Arkansas) Public Library. Thank you, Jennifer, for sharing them with LitLovers!

1. Given his country of origin and the overall candidness of many British persons, do you think this contributes to his tendency to be more direct and vulgar in Chapter 1?

2. Despite current trends, many professions still have a designated stereotype attached to them. Do you think his language and writing style are typical of what society perceives as a male advertising executive?

3. Publisher’s Weekly recently published an article discussing how this book broke the standards of self-publishing works in terms of marketing and overall success. Do you think the author attempted to push all societal boundaries with this book such as in content, language, and marketing?

4. According to Anonymous, “The more they confided and invested in you, the deeper the shock and the more satisfying the moment at the end.” Given that he has a lot of experience in art, advertisement, and the business realm, can we see any similarities between the advertisement world and his personal life?

5. In reflecting on his relationship with Penny, Anonymous states, “But she’s the one I regret hurting the most. Why? Because she didn’t deserve it. Not that the others did, but she wouldn’t have left me if I hadn’t ripped her apart. And I needed her to leave me because she was getting in the way of my drinking.” What can we learn about Anonymous from this specific statement?

6. Anonymous’ logic consisted of “If someone hurts you, then you automatically want revenge. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, you want revenge. I thought if I hurt her enough, she would want revenge… And while I flattered myself that she’d seek revenge, I didn’t realize that leaving me to stew in my own paranoid juices was revenge enough.” Is his logic flawed? If so, how?

7. Anonymous “…invited Catherine and some of the others to my thirtieth birthday party, to be held in my back garden… all my ex-girlfriends were to gather in one location… these separate personalities, unified by the pain I had caused them, would at last understand the devilish mind that now controlled their futures.” On what level is Anonymous really inflicting the pain on himself with his girlfriends as collateral damage?

8. Given his brief discussion of childhood sexual abuse by a De La Salle Brother, lacking familial relationships with his parents and siblings, and discovering his only friend and father did not appear to care about him, what could Anonymous have done to prevent becoming a damaged, alcoholic abuser?

9. After becoming a recovering alcoholic, Anonymous stated that his “…parents were excited for me but sad for themselves. Since I’d stopped drinking, they really did like having me around.” Considering his lack of familial relationships, do you think alcohol was a primary factor in his abusive personality?

Anonymous, the author

1. The author was brutally honest and wrote in a manner that has been described by some as “beautifully horrid.” What are your thoughts on his style and presentation?
        
2. In some instances, the author uses blunt, embarrassing vulgarity to describe how badly he hurt women, which is visible present in the dialog sections. Do you think this was an exaggeration of his actions as a means to get extreme emotional response from the reader?

3. While the monograph was written in a “diary” style format, do you think the author takes advantage of self-reflection and critiques of his actions?

4. Compare chapters 1 and half of chapter 2 to the rest of the book? What differences and similarities can we identify?

5. Did anyone listen to the audiobook? How could we interpret this book differently if we listened to it instead of reading it?

Society & Culture

1. How does this book defy your societal standards and norms for relationships, romance, and abuse?

2. How has this book changed our view of abuse and the cycle of hurting people?

3. Does this book portray abusive relationships in an accurate manner? Are abusive relationships overly exaggerated?

4. What taboos does this book break and why?

5. Why are news sources and book stores labeling this book as a bestseller and excellent piece of literature?

6. According to Anonymous, “I started to realize something was wrong when I began to get beaten up. My mouth always got me into trouble, of course.” Based of your experience, do you think Anonymous would have realized the true extent of pain of his mental or emotional abuse without having gone through it himself? In terms of mental and physical pain, why is one socially acceptable while the other is not?

7. According to Anonymous, “…I felt better when I saw someone else in pain.” Is the author relatable in this statement?

The Oxygen Thief and his CO 2

1. What are the characteristics of an Oxygen Thief?

2. According to Anonymous, “Don’t worry, I got my comeuppance. That’s why I’m telling you this. Justice was done. Balance has been restored. The same thing happened to me, only worse. Worse because it happened to me.” Which Oxygen Thief is worse –Anonymous or Aisling?

3. Do you feel differently about Anonymous knowing that he switched from being the Oxygen Thief to being the recipient of mental abuse?

4. What are the characteristics of the CO 2 ?

5. Can a person solely be one or the other? Can they be both?

6. What creates an Oxygen Thief and why do they continue the cycle of hurting others?

7. Why is this book titled the Diary of an Oxygen Thief?

8. Do you agree with the author’s statement, “hurt people hurt people”?

9. Anonymous described needing to leave London as means to escape the creative partner he desperately hated. Do you think Anonymous was solely an Oxygen Thief in his romantic relationships?

10. According to Anonymous, reflecting on being rejected by Aisling, “I was in a lot of pain, you see. But it had been caused by an abstract blade. What I mean is, the pain was physical, the cause wasn’t. I suppose some people would say I was suffering from a broken heart.” Do you think, before his relationship with Aisling, he ever equated mental abuse as being physically painful?

Supplemental Articles

"Q-and-A with Anonymous, author of Diary of an Oxygen Thief—and East Village Resident." EV Grieve (blog), November 30, 2012.
“Unknown Oxygen Thief author becomes self-published success.” CBS News (online), May 24, 2016.
Deahl, Rachel. “How Diary of an Oxygen Thief went from self-published obscurity to bestsellerdom.” Publisher’s Weekly (online), July 8, 2016.

(Questions submitted by Jennifer Johnson. Please feel free to use them, online or off, with attribution to Jennifer and LitLovers. Thanks.)

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