All Your Perfects (Hoover) - Discussion Questions

Discussion Questions
1. Sitting in the hallway outside Ethan’s apartment, Quinn cracks open a fortune cookie that reads "If you only shine light on your flaws, all your perfects will dim." How does this foreshadow the present-day scenes in the novel? Discuss the stark contrast between the "Then" and "Now" chapters.

2. When we see them "Then," Quinn and Graham’s relationship seems effortless. "Now," faced with the challenges of the present that have built up over eight years of marriage, their relationship could potentially fall apart in an instant. Can a relationship based on "kismet" last the test of time?

3. What began as a beautiful dream of shared parenthood with Graham becomes a single-minded and solitary obsession with conceiving for Quinn. Discuss the differences between how she was "Then" versus "Now." How has her self-esteem and self-perception been affected by her inability to conceive?

4. Quinn and Graham’s marital problems stem from miscommunication, misunderstandings, and secrets. Why is it so hard for Quinn to express her true feelings to Graham? Why does Graham pour his heart out in letters, only to lock them away in the box?

5. Aside from the pressure she places on herself, society’s expectations and others’ constant questions of when she and Graham will have a child of their own weigh heavily on Quinn. In what ways did this affect her pursuit of motherhood and her relationship with Graham, her sister, Ava, and others? Do you think she would have reacted differently if she’d had a better relationship with her own mother? Or a support group of women who’d gone through the same experience?

6. On page 71, as she’s getting over Ethan, Quinn thinks, "When you associate yourself with another person for so long, it’s difficult becoming your own person again." However, think about everything Quinn has gone through to have a child with Graham. In what ways has she lost her identity to the concept of being a mother at any cost? Is she truly doing this for herself, for Graham, or for the people they imagined they would be ten years from their wedding night?

7. In Chapter Fourteen, as Graham drunkenly confesses a fraction of his frustrations with how things are between them now, Quinn retreats deeper into herself. What does this moment mean for their relationship? Discuss other ways in which this scene could have unfolded to avoid—or worsen—what followed.

8. When Graham proposes on page 213, he asks Quinn to weather the "Category 5 moments" with him. In the midst of their struggle with not being able to have children, they both seem to have forgotten that promise. What do you think led each of them to believe that it was their sole responsibility to fix things? What stopped them from having the courage to confide in and confront each other?

9. On page 11, referring to Ethan’s cheating on her with Sasha, Graham says, "Do not forgive him for this, Quinn," but he insists that she listen to his side before making a decision about them after his own indiscretion. Compare the two instances of infidelity. Why did either man stray? Are either of them forgivable? What would you have done in Quinn’s place?

10. On page 200, an old man in his eighties who had been married for sixty years gives Quinn very honest marital advice, saying, "Our marriage hasn’t been perfect. No marriage is perfect. There were times when she gave up on us. There were even more times when I gave up on us. The secret to our longevity is that we never gave up at the same time." How does this tie into the fortune Quinn reads at the beginning? Identify the moments in which each of them gave up. Did they ever both give up at the same time? How did that affect the outcome?

11. What role did the box play in Quinn and Graham’s relationship? Do you think all couples should go through a similar exercise?

12. If you’ve read Colleen’s Hopeless trilogy (Hopeless, Losing Hope, and Finding Cinderella), you may notice a special cameo in the Epilogue. If you know Six’s story, what could this connection potentially mean for Quinn and Graham?
(Questions issued by the publishers.)

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