Take This Man (Skyhorse)

1. Share your thoughts about Maria as a person and as a mother. Were you sympathetic toward her at all? Why or why not? What were her maternal strengths and weaknesses?

2. What motivated Maria to fabricate a Native American identity for herself and Brando? How did the phrase she repeated (“At least it’s never boring”) shed light on her extreme, often outrageous behavior? Why was Maria able to get away with the lies and stories she told?

3. Discuss the cultural identity issues that Maria’s charade caused Brando. Why did he defy his mother and “come out” as a Mexican when he was in his teens? Was Sofie right or wrong to accuse Brando of lying to her?

4. Grandma June was supportive of Brando—encouraging his love of reading, for example—and at other times was cruel to him. How would you describe their relationship? Was she more of a positive or a negative influence in her grandson’s life?

5. Discuss the atmosphere inside the Echo Park house. How did June and Maria’s relationship impact Brando? What conclusions are there to be drawn from the fact that being on the road, away from the house, “stripped away [Maria’s] characteristic fear and disappointment” (page 58)?

6. How did Brando’s view of his mother, and his relationship with her, change as he got older? How about after he went away to Stanford? Why does he wish he could go back and warn his younger self after arriving on campus? What advice would he give him?

7. Discuss Brando’s relationships with each of his stepfathers—Robert, Paul, Pat, and Rudy—and the impact they had on him. What did he most want from a father figure? How did this shift over time?

8. Discuss the role Frank has played in Brando’s life. What has kept the two of them connected for decades? Why was it Frank, never married to Maria, who became most like a father to Brando?

9. Brando admits that by the time he contacted Candido he’d “had so many fathers that even the idea of a father—the very word father—seemed absurd” (page 3). Why then did he finally decide to reach out to him? Did he get what he had hoped to from Candido?

10. Candido cited the circumstances of his tempestuous parting with Maria and her threats to have him deported as the reasons why he never contacted Brando. Did he give up too easily on trying to be involved in his son’s life? Were his actions justifiable in any way? Why or why not?

11. In what ways are Candido’s daughters “so unlike” the women Brando grew up with, and why is this glaringly apparent to him (page 230)? Why is he able to connect more with his sisters than with Candido?

12. Why didn’t Brando return home for Maria’s funeral? Is his decision understandable? When he was finally able to cry after his mother’s death, what was he really mourning?

13. The book’s title, Take This Man, draws attention to the men in Brando’s life. Why do you suppose this title was selected? Do you think it’s an accurate reflection of the book? Overall, how are men presented in the memoir?

14. What lasting effects has Brando’s upbringing had on him as an adult? In what ways has it impacted his romantic relationships, his emotional well-being, and other aspects of his life?

15. What is your overall opinion of Take This Man, including your thoughts on Brando as a narrator? Which aspects of the book particularly resonated with you? How does it compare to other memoirs your group has read?