Running with Stilettos (Wagner)

Running with Stilettos:  Living a Balanced Life in Dangerous Shoes
Mary T. Wagner, 2008; 2013
CreateSpace
185 pp.
ISBN-13: 9781481216692


Summary

You can look at it as finally abandoning the last of the feminine "rescue" fantasies. Or maybe it was just a dose of latent pioneer spirit coming to the surface. Though Davy Crockett never had one of these. (Of course, Davy Crockett never had a pair of leopard-print stilettos in his closet either. Or so we hope.) Either way, I bought a chainsaw...

After a long fall from a tall horse put journalist and soccer mom Mary T. Wagner in a body cast for three months, she didn't take it as a sign to ease back on the throttle. Instead she decided to change careers, went to law school, became a prosecutor, and bought her first pair of spike heels. She never could step entirely away from writing, however, with the result that she’s been called “the Midwest’s answer to Carrie Bradshaw” and “the reincarnation of Erma Bombeck…in sexier shoes.”

By turns funny, touching, courageous and enterprising, this award-winning and inspiring collection of slice-of-life essays is what one reviewer called "life writing at its best." Wagner takes her readers along as she discovers the freedom and joy of riding on the back of a Harley; learns to embrace power tools after her divorce; and finds new tokens of love the second time around in the form of bonfires and car repairs.

Filled with humor, resilience and grace under pressure, Running with Stilettos is a wide-open window into one woman's mission to give every day her best shot...in fabulous shoes. (From the author.)

Visit the author on Facebook.

Author Bio
• Birth—won't say; will admit to "north of fifty"
• Where—Chicago, Illinois, USA
• Education—B.A., J.D., Marquette University
• Currently—lives in southeastern Wisconsin


Mary T. Wagner is a former newspaper and magazine journalist who changed careers at forty by going to law school and becoming a criminal prosecutor. Her legal experience has ranged from handling speeding tickets to arguing and winning several cases before the Wisconsin Supreme Court.

A mother of four and a recent grandmother, she lives in rural Wisconsin, where she draws much inspiration for writing from daily walks in the countryside with her dog, Lucky, and the cat who thinks he's a dog...The Meatball. While she was still a full-time "soccer mom," Wagner balanced diapers, dinners and driving duty with freelance writing about public broadcasting programming. Her PBS interviews ran the gamut from Fred Rogers and Captain Kangaroo to legendary conservative icon William F. Buckley, Jr.
 
Wagner's slice-of-life essays have appeared on her signature website, "Running with Stilettos," as well as at Flashionista, More.com, Shortbread Stories, RedRoom, Open Salon, The Front Porch Review, Growing Bolder, and The Write City.

Her third essay collection, Fabulous in Flats, was named "Published Book of the Year" in 2011 by the Florida Writers Association.

Life experience includes motherhood, and stints as a girl scout troop leader, truck stop waitress, office temp, judicial clerk, and radio talk show host. She counts both wearing spike heels and learning to use a cordless drill and chainsaw among her "late blooming" discoveries, and would be hard pressed to surrender either her favorite stilettos or her power tools." (From the author.)

Visit Mary on Facebook.

Book Reviews
They're dangerous, hard to move in, and painful to wear. But most important of all, they're sexy. Running with Stilettos: Living a Balanced Life in Dangerous Shoes consists of the reflections of one woman who spends every day in these terrible shoes, but must give it her all anyway. A collection of humorous memoirs in the form of essays of her day to day life, Running with Stilettos is charming and lovely, sure to resonate with many career women who must endure this daunting task daily. Enthusiastically recommended.
Midwest Book Review


Wagner's humorous collection of essays, Running With Stillettos: Living a Balanced Life in Dangerous Shoes, perfectly illustrates the value of a clever and apropos title that not only draws a reader in, but also foreshadows her charming delivery of a well balanced narrative comprised of ordinary moments portrayed as authentically funny  Wagner's existential observation is evidenced by the responsibility she takes to infuse her own life with meaning—despite the obstacles—via her passionately and sincerely crafted vignettes
US Review of Books

Discussion Questions
1. In the book’s “Forward,” the author describes her “turning point” in footwear, going from sneakers and sensible shoes to spike heels for the first time when midway through her forties. After finishing the book, what do you think that first pair of stiletto heels really symbolized in her life? Was it just about fashion?

2. How did you respond to the author’s “voice”? Did her experiences with work and children and a failed marriage ring true with you?

3. The author describes some wrenching transitions in her life when she was a teenager in “Cookie Therapy.” How do you think her past family relationships affect her present relationships with her children? Do chocolate chip cookies really make everything better?

4. In the essay “Turbo Dating-A Year in Review,” the author describes jumping into the dating world with both feet after 25 years of marriage.  What did you think of her kamikaze approach? In retrospect, do you think she should have waited longer before making that transition? Was she brave, dumb, headstrong, or some other combination?

5. Many modern memoirs—think of Running with Scissors or The Men we Reaped or to a lesser extent The Glass Castle—thrive on peeling back family and relationship dysfunctions with brutal honesty and scalpel-like precision and sharpness, leaving no stones unturned or individuals spared. How is this book different?  Why do you think the author took a more veiled approach? Did it leave you feeling relieved…or short-changed?

6. Think back to your childhood. Was it a “safe” place? How has that affected how you view the world and the people around you? How do you think the family decision when the author was a teenager to leave the city and move to an abandoned farm affected her? Does it reverberate in her relationship with her children or in her choices as a mother?

7. In “Ripple Effect,” the author shares the story of how her life and career path was changed by someone else’s encouragement, and reminds her children that “kindness is never wasted” in that you never know where your good words may carry someone else to.  Has there been a time in your life when someone’s belief in you has pushed you farther than you thought you could go?  What do you think makes some people take that encouragement and run with it, and others turn a deaf ear and stay in place?

8. Which essay in Running with Stilettos was most memorable for you? Why? Was there one in particular that made you think “Hey, I could do that too!” or "Yes, I've gone through that as well!"

9. In “Love in Wood and Wax,” the author talks about how her definitions and understanding of “romance” and “romantic gestures” have changed over time. Have yours? Is that a good thing or not? If they have, do you still miss “the old romantic stuff”?

10. Liberation can take many forms, but in the author’s case, two major symbols of taking charge of her life are her power tools. Which do you think was the biggest leap forward for her—the cordless drill or the chain saw?  And where do you stand on the subject of doing “the manly stuff” around the house?

11.  After her divorce, the author’s transition in tools went by necessity from cupcake pans and a hand-mixer to the drill and a tool kit. Can you see yourself in her shoes? Are you in them already? What was the last tool you used and what for?

12.  In “Return to the Fatherland,” the author writes of taking her elderly father and her teenaged sons to Germany for a reunion with their relatives, only to find en route that his mind was far more fragile than she had known. The roles of parent and child immediately and sadly changed. Did the trip have the result that she had wanted? What good things came from the journey despite her father’s increasing frailty? Do you think that her sons learned more from it than they expected to as well?

13. The author describes the evolution of her thinking about healthy relationships between men and women in “The Devil on Horseback,” based on a romantic suspense novel from her childhood. Has your thinking about relationships changed as well? How? What made it grow or change? Did you ever harbor the same delusions and rescue fantasies that the author grew up with? Where did they come from?  Are fairy tales completely to blame?

14. The author clearly has a soft spot for animals, whether cats, dogs, or the horses she had since she was a teenager. Would she have been a different person without them in her life?

15. In “The Island,” the author describes renting a cabin in a vacation spot she had only experienced before this with her husband and children, long before the divorce. Her stated intention was to spend the week writing in peace and quiet. Was that the most important thing she took away from it? Could it have gone badly instead? How would YOU step out of your “pressure cooker” life for a week?

16. Is there a lesson to be taken away from this author’s life? What do you think it is, and why do you think it’s important?
(Questions provided courtesy of the author.)

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