5-DAY FAST Recommended for Readers

5 day fastingNew York City — In a shocking move today, the book trade called for a 5-DAY READING FAST.

"We've seen the research," says Sara Reed of St. Mable's Press. "Too much reading and the brain gets GUNKED UP."

"Think of pouring a bowl of pancake batter all over your car engine—SCIENCE, you know," she says. "It goops things up, stops the system from working efficiently."

The industry is woke. Readers, experts say, need a DEEP CLEANSE. That means no books, zero, none, including Kindles.

When asked if fasting will cut into sales, Pytor Gloverloft, the owner of Kansas City's Top-Shelf Whiskey & Books, believes readers will return in droves—with a renewed HUNGER for fiction.

"Readers need a break," he says." We predict they'll begin to read with intensified FOCUS and greater EMPATHY."

How should readers break their fast? "With JANE AUSTEN, of course!" says Gloverloft. "Small, gentle sips of 18th-century social satire—there's nothing better."
 



Sarabelle Korteks, special to City Examiner
and LitLovers




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