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Book Club Blues

Book Club Blues—Inviting wives?

Thursday, 14 November 2013 10:31

new-year2
We got some guff from guys objecting to our tale of woe—the woman's book club who invited their husbands to join. Well, here's the other side—here's what happens when Mars opens its door to Venus.


Book Club Calendar

month1-january

"First things first,"
ladies tell us...
NO T-shirts.
NO cigars.


month2-feb

50 Shades—whoa!
Hot.
Who knew?

month3-mar

NO BEER???
A Merlot...?
What the hell's
a Merlot?
 month4-apr

YES! The Masters!!
But can we
reschedule?
Noooo.
 month5-may

Nicholas Sparks?
Again?
You're kidding.


month6-jun

We go "as a club"
to see The Help.
It feels...girly.
month7a-jul

A picnic. We wear
T-shirts!!!! We
drink beer!!!!
We are Men!!!!


month8-aug 

 Not one work of
REAL history—not
military, political,
scientific...
month9-sep

 What's the difference
between history and
historical fiction?
Ans: ROMANCE.
 month10-oct

Breakthrough! What
women call Romance,
we call soft porn.
High Five!

month11-nov

Our 4th book
on Anne Boleyn.
Shoulda seen it
coming.
month12-dec

Christmas party:
$150/couple plus
$20 gift. That's it,
we're outta here.
new-year3   month1-january

Superbowl—yes.
Tudors—no.
Sparks—never.
Who's got beer?
new-year3

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Book Club Blues—Inviting husbands?

Wednesday, 25 September 2013 09:11

new-year2
Thinking of inviting your husbands to join your book club? Well, think again, Dear Reader. Take a look at a sorry tale of one little club that thought it could.


Book Club Calendar

month1-january

Happy New Year!
Our husbands join
our club for the
first time!

month2-feb

Great meeting!
The guys get
along really well.
They're so cute!
month3-mar

No more brie and
bruschetta. They
want beer and
pizza.
 month4-apr

No Nicholas Sparks.
EVER. Or they walk.
So...we're flexible.
:-)


 month5-may

Quite a year so far
...what with books
on football, golf,
& lawncare.

month6-jun

Two couples couldn't
find sitters—had to
bring the kids.
No problem...

month7a-jul

Sonia watches the kids.
The rest of us discuss
Sports Illustrated...
the swimsuit issue.

month8-aug

Everyone shows up
with kids. There
are...so many.

month9-sep

Meeting cancelled.
Runny noses and
strep. The whole
club's infected.
 month10-oct

Back together again!
Need volunteers to
watch the kids.
Men don't budge.

month11-nov

One kid screams,
they all scream.
Men don't hear a
thing. Not. 1. Thing.
month12-dec

Women & kids at home.
Men get together for
beer and pizza.
Merry Christmas.
new-year3   month1-january

Happy New Year!
We'll be devoting
the entire year to
Nicholas Sparks.
Any objections?
new-year3

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Find out what happens when the men's book club invites the wives.



 

Book Club Blues—spicing up a tired club

Thursday, 10 January 2013 11:19

bcblues boring-club-1Dullsville. Has your club run out of gas? Stuck in a rut—doing the same-old, same-old? Take a look at a letter from our mailbag.


I have been a member of a book club for 12 years. Several of us have been talking and feel the group has become "stale." We've been doing the same thing year after year—and no one has any new ideas. Any suggestions on how we could shake things up?


Shaking things up often means forgetting about the book and stepping out of the pages. Or it might mean talking about books in a different way. Here are several ideas which any club could try, tired or not.
  1. Come as You Are
    Like a come-as-you-are party, each member talks (briefly) about the book s/he's reading at the moment. (Don't assign a book for that month.) Or identify a unifying theme—families, coming of age, mystery, historical, etc.—and have members find their own books based on the theme to share with the group (for ideas see our LitPicks monthly book reviews: click on Browse by Theme).

  2. Film Nightmovie-camera
    Devote a meeting to movies & popcorn. Have members bring their favorite film-adaptations and play a clip. If everyone shows up with The Help ... have each member pick out a favorite scene. Or watch a single movie in its entirety...and compare it with the book.

  3. Read To the Elderly
    Make arrangements with a local nursing home to read to patients. Go as a group and fan out, each reading to someone different. Find light-hearted books like Irma Bombeck with short, humorous chapters. Even for stroke patients with little comprehension, the stimulation of hearing someone's voice can be helpful.

  4. Auteur! Auteur!
    Write a book together. One of our Featured LitClubs started a "chain book"—each member built on a chapter from the previous writer. Be as silly or as irreverent as you want. Come up with a romance...a mystery...sci-fi...or combine a number of genres and see what comes out!

  5. rice-bowlInternational Night
    Dispense with reading for a month and host a dinner to which members bring dishes from the different countries (or regions) represented in the books you've read over the years. Members might bring artifacts...music...photos...or some representation of the culture.

  6. Costumes
    Have one meeting in which everyone comes dressed as a favorite character from any of the books you've read—or perhaps carrying some representative object. Members try to guess the identities of each other's characters...or not.

  7. A Night On the Town
    See a film or stage play together. Visit a bookstore or spend an evening at a library prowling the stacks together. Attend a lecture if there's a locally sponsored author series. Just break the routine...and GET OUT of the house!

  8. Arts & Crafts
    Perhaps there's a book which has some tie-in with an A&C project you could do together—origami cranes, for instance, for The Echo Maker. Or work together on a club scrapbook, each taking a page for one of the books you've read...or a specific year...or club event. There's nothing more fun than sitting around a table working together as a group.

  9. Games & Icebreakers
    Do check out our literary games page...and check out some of our featured book clubs to see what they've done. Lots of good ideas.

 For any group that's gone a little flat, my advice is to take a break from reading every now and then. Do something completely different.

 

Book Club Blues—leaving the club

Wednesday, 10 October 2012 11:19

bcblues leavingYou're unhappy with your book club...and another one beckons. What do you do?

I'm not enjoying my book club anymore. Let's just say we have different styles. I like the women; in fact, some have become friends. But there's another group that's asked me to join them, and I think I would be a lot happier in that group. How do I get out of the first club—without hurting feelings?
Wanting out of a book club isn't uncommon—there are plenty of legitimate reasons. But leaving one club for another...? It's like a divorce.

Unlike marriage, though, you didn't take a lifelong vow. So if your expectations aren't being met, and another group might be a better fit, then make move. It won't be easy, but there are ways to limit the fallout—not eliminate it, just minimize it.

Tell a white lie. Maybe the meetings no longer fit your schedule: work, child care, travel. Or perhaps you're finding it increasingly hard to do the reading—though that excuse falls apart if and when your current club learns you've joined another one.

Honesty is best, of course. Seek out the members you consider friends—they've probably got an inkling, right? But whatever you say, even to them, do NOT denigrate the group. Even good friends are not always discreet. And, besides, it's still their club—they're not leaving.

The safest track is to say you haven't found the books personally appealing. Maybe they're too long or too difficult. Or maybe just the opposite: you like books that delve into controversial or philosophical ideas. The reasons are up to you. Just don't talk about wanting "better written" books or resenting the "poorly written" ones the group has selected. That's a no-no.

If it's not the books but certain individuals, or the discussions themselves, you're in more dangerous territory. The best explanation is that you don't feel the group is a "good fit" for you—and try to leave it at that. Do not, under any circumstance, single out specific members.

How to say good-bye? On that your friends can advise you. Most certainly you need to inform the club—not simply drop off the map without a word. Perhaps a hand written letter to the club president, or at the very least, a phone call. Or send an email to all the members. You could even attend the last meeting and say your good-bye at the very end, thanking everyone for the good times and friendships.

Should you mention joining another club? I think so—most likely they'll find out. So be honest. However members feel about your leaving, they'll respect your integrity.

Whichever path you take...and however you explain your reason...it will be tough. Feelings are bound to be hurt. But the manner in which you say your good-byes can make all the difference.


 

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